Who Cares?

I hate apologies. They're pointless. In fact, they're selfish. The real point of any apology isn't to express remorse over regretful behavior, as it is so often portrayed. The real point of an apology is to take yourself off the hook for your guilt.

Now let us distinguish from the honest mistake. You make a batch of brownies, I eat one, later to find out they were for some class party or the church bake sale--oops, my bad! That's an honest mistake. It happens from time to time and a simple "sorry" to suggest, hey, I wasn't aware I was causing an injury, I admit the mistake, is a fair enough response.

Suppose, in contrast, you are having an affair. Your spouse finds out. I'm sorry, baby. Yeah, except no. That isn't an honest mistake. That's a malicious act. Your apology isn't to mend your spouse's feelings, it's to limit the notion they now have of you being the scumbag you really are. The apology doesn't repair damage, it deflects blame.

There have been a rash of apologies in sports recently. In baseball, in basketball, in football and other sports, leagues have apologized, explaining about an erroneous call that might have changed the outcome of a game.

Blake Griffin was recently ejected from a game against the Warriors. The Warriors won the game, 105-103. Would they have won the game anyway if Griffin wasn't ejected? Who knows? But if I were Warriors' head coach Mark Jackson, I'd rather play the Clippers without Griffin than with. The league later said he shouldn't have been ejected and...that's it. Oops! The Clippers still lost. No do overs or anything. Just, you know, sorry 'bout that.

The apology parade was on display again today. The Chargers earned their way into the NFL playoffs, beating Kansas City, 27-24 in overtime of the final game of the year. The win put San Diego in the playoffs and kept the Pittsburgh Steelers out. Had KC won, the Steelers would have made the playoffs instead of San Diego. Kansas City missed a 41-yard field goal at the end of regulation that would have won the game. Afterwards, the league admitted there should have been a penalty on San Diego on the play, which would have given the Chiefs a second chance--this time from 36-yards out, to win the game.

Sure, KC played several reserve players and that's likely the reason the game was ever that close to begin with. But the point is, San Diego won and thus advanced to the post season. Pittsburgh has to watch on TV like the rest of us. And what difference does it make? The Steelers probably wouldn't have made it to the Super Bowl anyway, and the Chargers aren't likely to either. But because of the call that wasn't, the Chargers now have a slim chance to make the Super Bowl, whereas the Steelers have no chance. But the league apologized. So, you know, the folks in Pittsburgh have got that going for them...which is nice.

And the bottom line in all of this is that the apologies have amounted to nothing. There should have been a penalty, the guy shouldn't have been ejected, that guy was really safe, not out. Sorry about that. Who cares? It didn't change anything. Here's an apology that's worthwhile: We're sorry our officials can't get the call right to begin with. We're sorry we don't put enough money, time and effort into training the officials not to make these mistakes. We're sorry we have to keep making these pointless apologies.

I don't ever believe one thing changes an entire game and I understand officiating is a tough job--having done it myself. But can the leagues not understand that these apologies only incite fans to think of the officials as being more incompetent and incapable than they really are? The apologies don't mend feelings. In the case in San Diego, it just makes the people in Pittsburgh hate you more. So next time there's a call not made that should have been, just shrug your shoulders and say, meh, what are you gonna do? Sorry to be so blunt.