To the Interstate, and beyond!

I read the other day that there is an ambitious group of space explorers planning to colonize Mars within a decade or so. That sounds really awesome when you say it out loud, like the whole Buck Rogers thing is finally happening.

And space exploration is commonplace for me. Man landed on the Moon a few years before I was born and by the time I was in middle school, we were flying to space, landing on the Earth and flying back again in the same space craft. To consider the technological obstacles that need to be addressed to establish a colony on Mars, one marvels at the capacity for human achievement. Yep, there's a lot of resources, brain power and problem solving involved with colonizing Mars. But here's a small suggestion: Um, potholes?

How about fix a road first? Not long after Man set foot on the Moon, people lamented the lack of progress toward fixing comparatively simple problems on Earth by saying, "they can put a man on the Moon, but they can't..." fix said problem. I can hear it now–they can put a man on Mars but they can't fix a road.

Not that Mars isn't awesome. I mean, our Mars colony will finally allow us to cure cancer. No...wait, I mean, end world hunger, or, no...I mean, world peace will finally...wait, that's not it...oh I know...no. OK, aside from being cool, a colony on Mars is pointless. I mean, so long as we have crummy roads. And we have crummy roads, believe me. Or, you know what, don't believe me. Believe, instead, the ASCE, the American Society of Civil Engineers–you know, the people who spend their lives designing safe structures to benefit all mankind? Our grade from the ASCE on our nation's 600,000-plus bridges is a C+. Super. Our bridges are like Oklahoma. They aren't awesome, great or excellent. They are, however, OK.

Any bridge you drive on anywhere in this country is probably flawed in some way. It's a comforting thought when you're 100 feet over a major body of water or a 300-foot deep canyon, yes? At least bridges can take their grade home to mom and dad. Sure, ma and pa bridge will be disappointed but not angry. Our roadways, on the other hand, have a grade of D+. Mmm, the plus makes it seem not as horrible somehow. Our roads now have the same grade as the kid in the back of the room–long, unkempt hair, Metallica t-shirt, chain going from his belt loop to his wallet. Yep, that's what we drive on for roads. That's what we are now as a nation–land of the free, home of the brave and kings of the pass/no pass course.

Certainly some good will come of colonizing Mars–won't it? Maybe? But it's good to know that here on Earth, we will be driving on minimally acceptable roads leading us across bridge that may or may not collapse. And what's more exhilarating than bridge Russian roulette?

It makes me wonder if explorers in the past faced the same questions. Were there people in the 15th and 16th Centuries walking around France, England and Spain thinking, they can put a man in the New World, but they can't fix these cobblestones? Hmm, now that I think of it, if our roads were paved with cobblestones today, our grade from the ASCE would probably improve.