1. Seeing Red: Like many people, I watched the Notre Dame/Florida State football game this weekend. Like so few things in life, it promised one thing and then actually delivered on that thing. Of course, I couldn't help but notice the Florida State fans and their incessant "Chop" chant. The Atlanta Braves fans do the same thing and each group swears the other stole it. I have just a small issue with the "Chop" (as pictured):
By the by, as a person of Irish decent, I said nothing about Notre Dame being "the Irish"or the multitude of other Irish-related mascots of other schools. So if we're having the discussion, let's not leave groups out, OK?
2. Running Interference: Will the NFL finally just come out and admit that nobody associated with the league knows what pass interference is? Normally, I might be upset that the call was made against my team in some way. My point here, however, is the rule doesn't seem to be enforced consistently. Different officiating crews seem to have ranging interpretations of the rule. I suspect this is because pass interference is unbelievably vague. Good rules are unambiguous. If the ball hits on this side of the line, it's foul; it it hits the line or on that side, it's fair. Brilliant rule. With pass interference we go from "well, he did make contact" to "that's just two guys playing football right there" from play to play. Here's a challenge: find 10 people working in the NFL-coach, player, official, league admin.-and have them define, in as much detail as possible, what pass interference is. My guarantee is you get 10 different answers. That is the very definition of a horrible rule. Yet, how can a rule that has such an affect on the outcomes of games be one of the worst rules in your sport?
3. Zoning Out: This next thing isn't a problem in the same way the previous two are, it's just something that drives me crazy when I see it. Football teams can play two types of pass defense-zone and man-to-man. Man-to-man is easy to understand. This specific guy right here is the guy you are responsible for. You follow him everywhere and don't let him catch the ball. Zone, as the name implies, divides the field up into defensible areas, with each player responsible for a different zone. But please tell the defensive coaches in your life to coach defense the following way, as doing so will prevent me from wanting to throw a book through my TV scree: Think of a zone defense like a house. Each defender is responsible for a different room. One guy takes the living room, the other the kitchen, another the bedroom. Simple to understand. However, the message on the next step isn't getting through, as evidenced by the awful pass defense being played around this country in high school, college and the NFL. While you might be responsible for, say, the kitchen, your job as a defender isn't to guard the kitchen. Your job is to play man-to-man against anyone in the kitchen. You don't defend the sink, you defend the dude near the fridge. If he moves from the kitchen to the living room, he's not your man anymore and you let him go. IF there is nobody in the kitchen nor likely to be anyone in the kitchen BUT there is someone in the unguarded, adjoining dining room, THEN DEFEND THAT GUY! A zone has never caught a pass in the history of football. Air is the worst receiver in the last 100 years of the game. Receivers catch passes. Receivers need to be defended. Standing three yards away from a guy isn't defense, it's spectating. Here's some basic math: There are 11 dudes on offense or defense. Most teams have four guys rush the passer, maybe five. That leaves six pass defenders. The offense has five linemen and a quarterback. They can have a MAXIMUM of five receivers on any given play. So right now, as you're asking "but what if one zone has two guys in it," understand the math. One zone has two guys, one is empty. Empty zone guy, go help out. Pass defenders defend receivers, zone or not. Poached and scrambled aren't two different things, they different types of the same thing. It's not these "potent, high-powered" offenses that are taking over, it's shoddy defense.
4. Design flaw: OK, look...I'm all for being progressive and pushing things forward. But, uh...that's quite enough from the uniform designers for college football teams. It's one thing to have a different set of uniforms for each game, never wearing the same pattern of colors for two games in a row. There comes a point, however, when a thing gets taken too far. It's been taken too far. We gotta reel it back in.
For starters, chrome isn't a friggin' color. Unless you're designing a hot rod, chrome isn't for you.
A lot of teams have this type of helmet now and it looks...what's the word I'm looking for here...ridiculous? Stupid? Like you pulled up to the game on a bus with spinning rims?
More significantly than that is this, uniform designers: generally, highlighter is used to draw attention to text, not as a color on your palette. What in the world about these uniforms made you think, yeah, that's what I bring to the table...
And football is supposed to be an exercise in toughness, grit, determination and sheer, old-fashioned manliness. Highlighters? These guys don't look like football players, they look like their trying to get home to see Miami Vice.
5. Two and oh no! Finally, I think it should be mandatory to immediately cut baseball players and ban them from the game for life for swinging at 2-0 pitches and not getting a hit. It has happened throughout my life but there seems to be a flat out epidemic going on in MLB right now. A 2-0 count is the first time in an at-bat when a hitter needs fewer balls to walk than he needs strikes to get out. Why does the 3-0 mentality seem to be, "hmm, one more ball and I walk, lemme take this one and see what happens," whereas the mentality in a 2-0 count is, "hmm, it's a hitter's count, I'm a hitter, better swing at this one!" Sure. Swing at it, if it's the exact, perfect pitch you want and not, say, a slider away, a curve ball in the dirt or a fastball across the shoulders. See, here's a baseball secret: if you take a 2-0 pitch and it's called a strike...you're STILL ahead in the count!! If you want to be a great hitter, you have to hit pitches that aren't where the pitcher wants them to be, i.e., a mistake. If you get a 2-0 mistake, swing. If not, don't. Worst case, you fall to 2-1 and you have at least two more chances for a mistake to come your way. Or maybe hitters should just start wearing chrome batting helmets to blind the pitchers. Either tactic will be successful, I think.
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