There is a saying: Rules and bones are made to be broken. Most often, this is used to rationalize the reasons a particular person need a beat down. In my case, however, I use it to explain why some of the dumbest rules in sports need to be eradicated:
1. Offsides in Soccer: With the World Cup just days away, I thought it would be nice to start with one of the dumbest rules in any sport anywhere and that's offsides. I get it. I understand the rule and I know the reason why soccer has the rule. My point is: it's just plain stupid.
It's not fair! You have to give the defense a chance! And people in other countries wonder why soccer doesn't catch on more in America? The defense does have a chance. They're on the field...excuse me, pitch...aren't they? Can't they see the guy with the ball? Isn't there one player whose sole job (goal keeper) is to prevent the other team from scoring? No fair. He went down the field ahead of time!
Isn't the grace, finesse, speed and skill of the players what attracts fans to the game in the first place? We love the artistry of Messi...as long as there are a few guys in his way...
What would basketball be without breakaway dunks? "Wade with the steal, lobs ahead for LeBron, who's all alone...of course, he has to wait for some defenders to get back in transition..." Boy. That sounds like a fun spectacle.
2. Icing in hockey: A crash course for non-hockey fans: Hockey teams play the puck into their own offensive zone, so marked with a blue line. They can try to score so long as they keep the puck on their side of the blue line. The defense can clear the puck over the blue line and the offensive team has to start the process over. The defense cannot clear the puck across three or more lines (center line, opposite blue line and end line, for example) otherwise it's icing. You can't do that in hockey. My question is: why not? Who cares? That's like saying you can't punt in football.
Here, you can have the puck back but you have to go get it way down there. Why is that a problem? It's easier for the defense to end an offensive threat, true, but you also can't score by playing that way and last I checked, you need at least one goal to win a hockey game.
When a player is falling out of bounds in basketball, coaches instruct them to save the ball towards their own basket. If the other team gets it, they have to come up the court again to set up on offense. Soccer players are told to clear the ball out of bounds to end an offensive threat. There's a punt in football. You can intentionally walk a guy in baseball.
Why can't you end an offensive threat in hockey by conceding possession in the same way as other sports. Doesn't make any sense.
3. Charging in basketball: I hate charging calls. I hate trying to draw a charge. It's lazy and non-competitive. OK, if a guy has the ball and chucks the defender away like Marshawn Lynch running through the New Orleans Saints, sure, call a charge. That's the point of the rule. The offensive players can't just steamroll their way to the basket. And if you want to call something on the offense, call the Blake-Griffin-shoulder-in-the-chest-to-clear-space-between-me-and-the-defender move a charge.
But trying to draw a charge is so wimpy. It's such a give up play.
Hey, I stole the ball, I blocked a shot, I got a rebound, I forced a guy to alter his path to the basket and pass the ball off. What did you do to help the team win? Oh, I ran in front of someone, didn't try to steal or block a shot but I stood very still, like a statue, as if a mannequin was on the team and, despite the fact I'm 6' 9" and weigh 275, when the 5' 11" point guard brushed up against me, I fell on the ground. The ref saw me there and felt sorry for me so he called a foul. That's good defense. I played good defense, coach said so. Don't try to compete, he said to me. Don't 'D' someone up and make a play, he said. Just fall on the ground. Fall down if someone touches you, like it's time for a nap. That's good defense.
4. The 5-yard chuck in football: I know some people might not know what I mean, but in football, a defensive back can put his hands on a receiver and pretty well do whatever he wants within 5-yards of the line of scrimmage. This is another one of those "give the defense a chance" rules. You have a chance. You're on the field.
This rule is stupid to me because it's OK for one position and not OK for another. Defensive backs can grab a receiver by his shoulders and shove him every-which-way for 5-yards. Probably they aren't supposed to be allowed to grab them in such a manner but if it is a penalty, I rarely see it enforced. It's the 5-yard chuck rule, after all. You have to give the defense a chance.
But what about the offense? A guard or tackle can't make that play. If an offensive lineman touches a pass rusher in the shoulder, it's holding. If an O-lineman thinks about the word "shoulder," it's holding. But there's holding on every play! If they called everything... Yes, I've heard this argument. But what about the holding that goes on outside of the so-called "tackle box" on each play? You an O-lineman? Holding! Oh, you're a defensive back? It's OK...not too long, though, OK? Let go after a while. But before, sure, go ahead and hold all you want. Why not just give defensive backs a baseball bat? Here, you can kneecap as many receivers as you want...within five yards, of course.
5. The 10-second count in basketball: Basketball is full of needless and annoying rules. The dumbest of all of them has to be the 10-second count. Briefly explained, an offensive team has 10 seconds to advance the ball across the half court line. In the NBA, the count is shorter and in women's basketball it's non-existent, so the rule is already rife with inconsistency. The bigger question with this rule is, who cares? Why does the team have to advance the ball at all? There's a shot clock. They can only possess the ball for so long anyway. Why does it matter where they possess the ball? It's their shot clock. Let them use it however they want. Also, last I checked, you can play defense on all 4,700 sq. ft. of court space. If the defense doesn't want the offense to inbound the ball and just run the clock down, they can pressure them anywhere on the court--get a five second count against them, force a bad pass, a turnover, set a trap...there's all sorts of ways to deal with teams just sitting on the ball. This rule, for some reason or another, might have seemed necessary at one time, but it is no longer needed now for the reasons outlined.
Surely there are other rules in sports that serve no purpose (extra point in football, I'm looking at you...) but these five examples are the most glaring dumb rules I can think of. But don't take my word for it. Make up your own list.
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