Red Card

As a sports writer, I had to cover different sports. Sometimes, as in the case of rugby, I had to cover things I didn't know much about. As a result, I had to learn a lot about these sports in a short period of time.

One of these sports was soccer. Prior to covering games as a writer, what I knew about soccer is you couldn't use your hands and...well, that's it. I just knew you couldn't use your hands. Luckily, the local teams I covered over the years were all pretty good and it made learning the sport easy. Still, I wanted to improve my coverage, so I started watching international matches on TV. I felt a little like "Days of Thunder." I haven't done much, but I watched it a lot on ESPN.

This exposure helped me understand the game better and watching it played at the highest level helped me appreciate the game more. I soon found myself occasionally watching random matches for no good reason. The capper was watching a match between AC Milan and FC Barcelona online whilst at work.

But try as I might, I just couldn't embrace the sport fully. And, to quote Twisted Sister–as one does in moments like these–I've tried, oh how I've tried. I just can't. There's something terribly, I don't know, American about me. And soccer just isn't designed with American DNA in mind.

Soccer is too, I don't know what the word is...friendly? Sportsman? Congenial? When a player is injured, soccer teams kick the ball out of bounds. When the other teams throws it back in, they give it right back to the opposing squad. When a player in soccer is offsides, it means he's farther up the field than any opposing player. The rule, a coach explained, is to give the defense a fair chance. And all this time that's what I thought the goal keeper was for.

But that's not what American sports are all about. We have the slam dunk, the long bomb and the grand slam. If a defender falls down in an American sport...well, he shouldn't have. Try not to next time. American sports fans watch their sports with an "all in" attitude. Survival of the fittest. That's who we are as American sports fans. And above all, we like winners. But soccer is fine sometimes with a job well done by all. They might not love a tie, but they'll accept it. For Americans, tying is worse than losing.

That point was fully driven home recently in a match between the United States and Scotland. I watched some of the match and later discovered it ended in a draw. Magical. Ninety minutes of watching 22 grown men kick a ball around on the grass. As Billy Joel once said, is that all you get for your money? I can be angry if my team loses or elated if they win. But nothing compares to the anger I'd feel walking away with an $85 bag of 'meh.' From now on, I'm going to stick with the excitement of American sports. Bass Pro Tour, here I come. Talk about one team losing...